Once, and this was when I was much younger than I am today, I filled a rain barrel with stolen tomatoes. I couldn't tell you why. It's just a thing. A thing that happened.

Why did I tell you that? So that I could tell you this: Every moment of every day since has been spent filling barrels with tomatoes.

 

I bet joeys are the best hype men because any time a kangaroo says something they can just pop out of her pouch and yell “that’s some bad ass kangaroo shit right there”.